Car Crash Dream: 12/30/11

Last night I had a long dream involving a series of freak accidents that ended in an automobile crash. I don't remember much of it, but I do remember the ending. I awoke somewhat disturbed by the dream, so I posted about it on my Facebook page. I carried a tone of strange, unpleasant energy with me as I went about my business for the day.

Mid-morning, I found myself having to take a cab due to time constraints. This is a deviation from my normal routine, as normally I take the bus and train and can't afford a cab. But the cab was there, I was in a hurry, so I jumped in.

When the driver was dropping me off, someone backing out slammed into the side of our cab. Nothing major.. no one was hurt. But given everything that's happened, I can't say I didn't see that one coming.

Predictive Ability Continues

Given everything that's been going on lately with the numbers and dreams and what not, I decided to try an experiment tonight. I wanted to see if I could in some way predict what was going to be on the next TV channel before I changed it.

On the first attempt, I had an image in my head of the nose end of one of the X-wing fighters from Star Wars... when I changed the channel some guy immediately said "She's gone rogue." If you remember, Rogue Squadron was one of the divisions of X-wing fighters the rebels used against the death star.

The second time I saw the word "El" in my head, when I changed the channel there was a guy talking with what appeared to be a list of the letters of the alphabet behind him. The letter "L" was center of the screen. The program also turned out to be MontEL Williams.

The third time I saw a wall with an end table in front of it.. when I changed the channel there was a wall with an end table in front of it in the shot.

The fourth time I saw what looked like the ground view of a runway.. when I changed it there was a guy riding a motorcycle down a runway.

The fifth time I saw a wall with part of a picture frame, and before I could even change it a shot of a guy looking at a painting came on, and the shot was of part of the frame and the wall it was on.

The images weren't EXACTLY what I saw in my head, but pretty damn close. I was amazed, so I jumped Facebook to message a friend that I've been talking to about some of this stuff. After I typed the message, I looked to the ad bar on the right of the screen.

In the column was an image of an X-wing fighter from Star Wars.

I have no idea what to make of any of this.

The Case for Numbers

So I've been blathering on this blog for some time about seeing the number 144 everywhere.

Today, on a whim, I decided to Google my full given name. THIS was the second entry on the list, a RootsWeb entry of a man with my name who lived in 1855. Our name is identical. We were both born in September.

And his RootsWeb ID number is 8144.

Also, yesterday I was in Walgreens and they called a "Code 44" over the intercom. I was only in there 5 minutes.

There is quite a bit on the Internet about this phenomenon already, such as THIS THREAD and THIS POST (read the comments) and also THIS ONE is pretty good, too. If this isn't enough, just Google "I see master numbers" or "I see 144 everywhere" and you will be deluged with people sharing their experiences. Many of the articles also mention seeing the other numbers I talk about quite a bit: 33, 333, 666, 111, 1111 among others. There are a few others people talk about seeing that I've never heard of, but the ones listed are much more common among number-seers. For me, 144 is the most common by far; some days I see or hear it through some input source as often as 3 times in 15 minutes. And I make a point not to scan for it.. it does a good enough job of showing up on it's own.

What you will also find online is no shortage of people trying to explain what the number sightings mean. I've heard every explanation from lightworker awakening to spiritual guidance to angelic communication, and everything in between. Speaking for myself, I don't have my own theory as to meaning yet. It simply hasn't been happening long enough. Rest assured that if I ever do figure out the meaning, I'll be sure to share it here.

There is one other number I have seen quite a bit, and that is the number 316. 316 sightings aren't as common from what I've read, but they do occur; I was ready to dismiss the whole 316 thing as coincidence until I happened to mention it on my Facebook page, and received a reply from a girl named Kristi that I used to go to school with. Kristi says she's been seeing 316 her entire life. Not only does she see it, but apparently every time she checks into a hotel she almost always gets assigned to room 316.

316 is the number that started it all for me. For about a week back in April, every day I would happen to look at the clock at 3:16PM. During that week, our friend Andrea sent us a Bible, the Bible we use every day, and when I received the package containing the Bible from the front desk, I glanced at my watch. It was 3:16PM. I thought this was very strange at the time because I had no idea that number sightings were any kind of a phenomenon at all. This all had been going on for nearly a month before I began to search the Internet and found out about the whole 11:11 phenomenon. Before that I had no idea about any of this stuff. At all.

Bear with me, I'm going somewhere with all this.

About a week after I began seeing 316, I noticed that the hotel phone number ended in 666. Then for a while 666 was everywhere I turned. There are some earlier entries on this blog where I talk about seeing it often. You can look back at previous posts if you want; I've talked about it on at least a couple of occasions. Although I don't see 666 much at all anymore, it remains one of the big ones.

Okay, so... what is the common thread among most of these numbers? The majority of them appear somewhere in the Holy Bible. John 3:16 is probably the most quoted passage in the Bible. 666 and 144 appear in Revelation. 3 (33 and 333.. repeating 3s) is the number of the Trinity. There is the fact that I was 40 years old when all this started (40 appears over and over again in the Bible.. the Israelites spent 40 years in the desert, it rained 40 days and nights in the story of Noah). And also you have Romans 1:11, which talks about being given spiritual gifts. Take all this together and you have a group of numbers that appear to be pointing me toward the Christian faith.

It was enough for me. So.. I was baptized as a Lutheran last Sunday. And this leads me to one more story.

After the baptism last Sunday, Nicolle and I went to a local seafood restaurant for a little mini-celebration. After receiving the check, I pulled out my card to pay. I noticed that the last 3 digits were 133. Then I looked at the receipt. We were seated at table 3, the check had been tabbed out at 12:33PM on terminal number 3. This began one of the biggest number assaults I've experienced yet. Over the course of the next 24 hours, the numbers 33, 133 and 333 were everywhere I turned. Television, newspaper.. you name it. I tried to count the number of times it popped up and lost count around 30. The next day I pulled out an old Chinese menu for a place called Custer Wok (I have no idea where the menu came from), and saw the last 3 digits of the phone number was 133. The order total wound up being just over $33, and our order number was 33. Then just as quickly as it started appearing, it stopped.

Pretty fitting to be bombarded with the number 3 on the day of my baptism.

My 11-11-11

There was a lot of talk recently about the date 11-11-11 and the possibility of it being a key date in terms of synchronicity experiences. I can not personally say I experienced anything life-changing or earth-shattering, but I will say that I did have a flurry of these experiences, and one of them was the strongest yet.

A few months ago I wrote THIS POST detailing some things that occurred one evening on which there happened to be a full moon. On that evening I found the wallet of a lady by the name of Donna Rousseau. Although I never followed up on this blog, the next week I was able to track her down, and got her money and belongings back to her. I didn't talk to her in person, but I did take the train to the place she was staying and left the wallet at the desk. I later talked to her on the phone and confirmed she did get it.

Well, last Friday (11-11-11) Nicolle and I were killing time at home while waiting for the wheelchair bus. Normally when we're waiting on something like that I don't really want to get absorbed in anything particular, because when I do I tend to lose track of time. So on this day I was just randomly flipping through channels while waiting for the bus to show up.

Purely by chance (hah!) I landed on the television show Cheaters, which is normally a show I have no interest in whatsoever. However, today happened to flip by long enough to notice the show was in Dallas, so I watched for a second to see if I could identify the location they were filming from.

I wasn't able to tell where they were, but the person who happened to be featured on the segment at exactly the same time I landed on the program was.... Donna Rousseau! Although I never met her, I was able to identify her from the drivers license in the wallet.

So, lets break all this down. I put up a blog post about a fortune cookie that said told me the next full moon would be an enchanted evening. On the night of that full moon, I found a complete stranger's wallet, full of money, then an hour later found someone else's iPhone. Both finds were returned, the iPhone the same night and the wallet later that week. Then several months afterward I happen to see the owner of the wallet, who I never actually met, on a television show that I never watch, on 11-11-11, at date synchronized with a set of master numbers I have been harping about on this blog for a long time.

Carl Jung knew exactly what he was talking about.

Premonition?

Saturday night, Nicolle said I woke up in the middle of the night and appeared to be angry. She said I fell back asleep, then woke up a few minutes later crying. I have a vague memory of that, but don't remember waking up angry. And I have absolutely no memory of what I was dreaming or crying about. That part isn't new; until this year I have rarely remembered any of my dreams. The next morning we learned there was a 5.7 magnitude earthquake in Oklahoma. Nicolle says the time reported for the earthquake coincided with the time I woke up crying. I wasn't surprised, but I don't really understand why I was chosen for this.

Master Numbers

As I've mentioned a few times on this blog, I have been seeing certain sets of numbers repeatedly for some time now. Mostly these number patterns consist of 44, 4444, 144, 33, 3333, 111 and 1111, and a few variations on these same repeating patterns. Online research into the subject has told me that these numbers are what are known as "master numbers", and variations of master numbers. With my online research having hit a wall, today I went to the library to see what I could find about the topic in book form.

The section was small. There were various selections by Carl Jung (synchronicity, which I am also experiencing heavily) and a few other authors, but one book in particular happened to catch my eye. It was called The Master Numbers, and it basically goes into a explanation of numerology, master numbers (11, 22, 33, 44, etc.) and how some people are seeing these numbers as I am. It explains a few other things as well, but that isn't what I'm here to tell you about.

After looking through the book, I glanced at the back cover. The Dewey decimal location for this book was 133.335. Then, the corner of my eye caught another book that had been taken out and was lying beneath the location of the other book. That book was called 2012: The Day of Reckoning. I found this interesting, for a couple of reasons. The first is that 2012 is an unrelated topic, but one I am also heavily interested in. For some reason this book was placed in the same small section of the library. Also, for those who don't know, the Mayan long-count calendar ends on Dec. 21st, 2012, at 11:11 AM. Strange coincidence? Wait, there's more.

The Dewey decimal for that book was 133.333.

After gathering up my two books, I went outside to smoke a cig. Standing on the sidewalk, I happened to glance at some sign stuck in the ground touting water conservation. Than I saw the phone number.

972-744-4111.

I would say that I was shocked and amazed at seeing this, but that wouldn't be the truth. I have been seeing these numbers for several months now, and seeing all these numbers in such a close, unrelated sequence like that is becoming commonplace for me. Some people are naturally skeptical and will attempt to explain it all away as coincidence, or as my mind being on the subconscious lookout for these patterns and notifying me when they appear. But that isn't it. I started seeing these patterns before I was aware there was any such phenomenon going on. I only became aware of what master numbers were after I'd been seeing them for nearly a month.

It's a full blown phenomenon, and it's spreading. Google it yourself.

Passing Our Own Shadow

Today several events happened that lead me to believe that Nicolle and I have passed our own shadow.

First of all, on the way to the car earlier she was actually able to walk down the front steps... very gingerly and with the help of me and two walkers, but she did it. Before now she had only been able to walk up, in the same fashion. This was a first for her walking down. Progress.

We went to Wal-Mart. Through the generous loaning of our new family's van, I drove and she was the passenger. First time that has happened since before the accident also.

On our way there, we passed an accident. It involved a brown Ford Explorer, exactly the color and model of vehicle she hit back in November that caused our world to flip upside down. Someone had hit it from behind. Just like in her accident.

I stopped at 7-11 to get gas. The total of the purchases of the guy in front of me was $6.66. Of course that caught my attention as well.. given the seeing of the numbers and whatnot. We got gas at pump 3. I don't really care who all thinks this means nothing, because there is an earlier post in this blog where I ponder the coincidence of 666 and 3 falling so close together.

It seems the spiritual stuff happens much more frequently around major events. I've had that connection made for some time.. and today was no exception.

Also, we met face to fact with our attorney yesterday, finally. Told him everything. His eyes were big as saucers, and he didn't look at us in any way like we were crazy. He believed us. I mean, when you hand a guy a mountain of evidence like we handed him, that tends to be the case. Then we sat in Starbucks for a while, quietly and peacefully until the wheelchair bus came.

It's been a good couple of days. Our situation at our new home, which seemed tenuous at first, has vastly improved. They even found a FREE king-sized bed on Craigslist and went all the way to Grand Prairie to get it last night.

Progress. Progress. I like the sound of that word.

144 and Another Dream

A sign in the form of the number 144 has popped up several times recently:

1. The Internal Affairs report I filed over a month ago was assigned a case number ending in -144.

2. Mike Flipp has a section in his book "2! A Book that Details the Signs Given to me by God" where the prisoner count in the cell block where he is a guard strangely ended up being 144 one day. (You can download the book for free from his website by clicking here. Download the book, and check out the section dated "June 27th, 2007".) The fact that the count came out to 144 was a big enough deal for him to put a section in his book about it.

3. We met some very special people today who came by today, and in the course of our conversation they mentioned having exactly $144.00 in one of their accounts. I had had other signs these people were special and their mention of 144 confirmed it.

4. A friend called me from an unusual phone number today that had 144 in it.

5. There was one other sighting of 144 somewhere this morning, but where I saw it escapes me. It may have been something I read in scripture. If and when I remember I'll edit this post to include it here.

Suffice it to say, I've been seeing 144 all day and Nicolle and I have been very aware of this number and have talking about seeing it nearly all day long before now.

Now then... just a few minutes ago I was dozing and having a mini-dream where people were in a building somewhere and were pouring out of the interior offices and running screaming down a hallway. I think some kind of natural disaster was occurring, I couldn't tell if the people were running to an interior room (as in a tornado) or running to the exit (as in an earthquake). Then I saw the outside of the building. It appeared to be in the country, as outside the building there was farmland and cows inside a fence. There was a vehicle (maybe an emergency vehicle?) with the number 365 on it. Yes, I'm aware 365 is the number of days in a year, but didn't realize that until Nicolle pointed it out.

5. While I was dreaming this, Nicolle was lying beside me reading. When I awoke from the mini-dream, for some out-of-the-blue reason it occurred to me to ask her what page she was on of the book she was reading.

"Page 144", she said. She says she had just turned the page to 144, and remembering that 144 had come up several times all day she asked, "Did you look at the page number before you asked me that?" "No," I said. "I was just dozing. I don't even know why I even thought to ask you what page you were on." Really... it was just like something.. came over me. That's about as well as I can explain it.

I take this as a warning that some severe natural disaster is coming. When, I don't know. Maybe 144 days from now. Maybe 144 hours. But 144 clearly means something. The problem with this prophecy thing is I can only report the pieces I'm given. I have no control over any of it. I'm just the vessel, and I try to report what I'm given exactly as I dream it. I probably shouldn't even try to interpret it, that should be left for someone with the interpretation gift.

I can say I feel like I'm getting somewhat of a handle on how to use this gift. Like I described in my last post, when the man with the last name "Angel" called, I knew this meant something to do with angels would happen soon after. Indeed, the next day I met a cab driver named Gabriel that I had a very meaningful conversation with.

So far as I can tell, seeing the same number sequence many times in the same day before a dream like that, then having that dream, then immediately afterward getting some sort of confirmation by the same number "coincidentally" appearing again... it has to be relevant. Has to.

But what's going to happen, I don't konw. Keep your eyes peeled for severe natural disasters in the near future. How 365 plays in to this, I don't know either.

RTH 8/14/2011 9:47PM

Angels and Coincidences

Last night I posted an ad on a local message board about needing housing. I got one call last night after the post went up, a man with the last name "Angel". I want to keep his first name out of this out of respect.. he doesn't now me and I don't feel it would be right to blast his name all over the Internet because he was calling to see if he could help us.

He asked me quite a few questions, as preliminary landlords are prone to do. He was polite and we clearly shared a Christian viewpoint. After we hung up, I couldn't get it out of my head that his last name was Angel. I think I've stated numerous times on this blog that I believe we're protected by angels, and still believe that.

So today, we were informed that some of Nicolle's medicine was ready for pickup at her doctor's office. For some reason they wouldn't call it in, so I had to fork over for a cab. I briefly considered the bus and train but the way the buses run here I would be lucky to have gotten to the doctor's office by tomorrow morning, let alone by 5PM today. Besides, it isn't far, so I went ahead and called a cab.

Cab came. We took off to our destination, and as he seemed friendly, we got to talking. Eventually, I introduced myself by name, and so did he. His name was Gabriel.

After getting the sign last night, I knew something about angels would come up today. I'm learning a little bit about how to read the what I'm being given and I'm slowly making progress. I knew it would come up, and it did.

After we made the rounds... doctor's office and pharmacy, I told him about some of the experiences I've been having. Then he asked me to pray for him. He said he had something going on in his life of a very spiritual nature, and said there were a group of people involved causing some sort of conflict. I couldn't understand him very well because he had a heavy Nigerian accent, but I promised to pray for him, and as I did, out of the blue I was suddenly overcome at that moment to give him some advice as well. I told him this: "You carry the name of the Angel of the Lord, so you are blessed. (He had also told me his son's name was Issac). I don't know what your trial is, but remember this: Evil never triumphs over good. I've sometimes had people tell me that this isn't always true, but they are mistaken. Sometimes this appears to be the case, and for one specific reason: The fact is, the only time evil triumphs over good is when the good people give up the fight. If you are right, just and truthful, and what you are doing is good, never give up. No matter what. You can be assured it won't be easy, you'll suffer, and you might even come to harm.. it depends on the battle. But do this and you will win whatever battles with evil are ahead of you. Remember what Paul said to Timothy from prison. 'I have fought the good fight, I have kept the faith'." (Strangely enough, this quote from Paul was the exact same thing I said to Mr. Angel last night, when he asked about how we were handling our situation.)

Gabriel thanked me. Then he looked me in the eye and shook my hand. "Your name is Timothy," he said. "Timothy, yes," I said. "God bless, and don't give up."

And I went inside the hotel.

It's true. I didn't mention to the man anything of our current battles or about our supernatural ceiling manifestations.. it just wasn't appropriate to get into it. But what I DID tell him is something I live my life by. Nicolle and I are in a battle with pure evil. It is a hard battle we're fighting. But we will prevail, or we will die trying. the wrongs that have been done to us, including the damage done to my own daughter, my baby.. can only be reversed by pushing and pushing until the truth of the entire situation is revealed. Many people want us to shut up and go away, stop complaining, stop being negative.. blah blah blah. I've had my life threatened on more than one occasion. But the people wanting us to move on simply don't understand that there is so much more here involved than just "moving on". This is about honor, truth, and justice. This is about righting wrongs that have been done by fighting until the deed is done. It's the only way. And it will be done, because God is with us. I feel His spirit everywhere.

What's Coming?

A few of the dreams I haven't mentioned very much about over the past month or so involve a particular theme. Me riding in an armored vehicle of some sort. Now, I'm not going to say this is a prophecy, because the dreams were quite fuzzy and frankly I don't remember most of them. But I do remember that part clearly. And I can't say they've had "the feel", but that doesn't mean they aren't predictive in some way. I don't know. But suffice to say I have been having dreams about internal US warzones, one which included a safe with a china plate in it. I'm not making this up, I'm just not doing a very good job of explaining it because I don't feel much like blogging right now. I've got food to procure for my lady.

What I do know is that I checked in on an online friend's website today and looked at some of the stuff he's been putting up lately. Click the link below.

The Strong Watchman

Maybe I'm wrong. I hope so.

Another Dream - By Both of Us

The time now is 7:03AM, August 6th 2011.

I just had another dream. In the dream I lived in a house with some other people.. not people I knew, but the implication was that we were there because we had to be. The house was old and run down. I don't think we had electricity. At one point we were going over issues within the house (we maintained the house as a committee, it seemed) and someone said, "we have to do something about all this standing water." At one point later in the dream, and this part was very clear.. I was standing in the kitchen, looked across it, and there was 2-3 inches of stagnant, standing water in the dream. And then, for a split second, I dreamed about seeing a beer price list, you know, draft beers which are 2-3 dollars in a pub somewhere. The price of the beer was $12.40. By my calculation within the dream, I had it as about 3 times what it would normally cost.

I woke up.

Told Nicolle about the dream.

She informs me that she had been having as dream as well, in which we were living in a dilapidated (she uses the term "in a state of disrepair", which is a fine description of the house in my dream)house with some other people we didn't know. Also, our household had been having a problem with standing water, too. She said it was dark all the time and there didn't appear to be any electricity. She said it was very dangerous for her to be there, so she only moved around at night. The standing water seemed to come in at night in her dream and by nightfall there would 2-3 inches deep standing around. She said I was going to some sort of school for cooking (remember, I was in the kitchen when I saw the standing water in my dream). According to her, the cooking school seemed to be some front, in which I really did something for an underground movement concerning computers. She re-iterates that it was dangerous for her to be there during the day so she hid. She said the computers were all really old and clunky and had a very specialized use. What the use was she doesn't know. The computers were very old but were very important. The standing water kept getting on the computers and it was a major battle to keep them dry. In both dreams, the standing water seemed to be a major problem.

End dreams.

So.. Nicolle and I just had mostly the exact same dream at the exact same time, lying in bed next to each other. The common elements are: Standing water. And old dilapidated house with us and strangers in which the house was run by committee. She says I was in cooking school, and I saw the standing water clearest when I was in the kitchen. It was dark, probably with no electricity.

This dream means something. I think I'm going to go ahead and tell everyone to take this as some sort of prophecy. The fact that we basicaly dreamed it together while lying next to each other is amazing enough.

I'd appreciate interpretation feedback. If you know someone, who interprets dreams, please send this link to them immediately, and report back.

RTH 7/6/2011

Dream - August 4th, 2011

This is my accounting of the dream sequence I had on Thursday, August 4, 2011.

BACKGROUND

Let me start with some brief personal background. My father died in 2003. Although he had been sick and it wasn't a surprise (he was 85) I was torn to pieces over it because I loved him very much. Ever since then I occasionally have dreams about him. In the dreams, he is alive, and I never understand why. I always wind up asking him.. why are you alive when we had a funeral for you?" This has gone on, occasionally, since his death. Obviously I ask him this question in the dream because I'm alseep and don't realize that I am dreaming.

He left his homestead property, and the house I grew up in, to be divided between my brother, my step-mother, and me. In recent years my brother bought out our shares and from what I understand has commenced rebuilding the house and associated property, which had been abandonded and was in bad shape.

THE DREAM

This long dream was a series of dream sequences. I'll take them one at a time.

FIRST SEQUENCE:
It began with me and two other (unknown) people visiting the old homestead property. Apparently my brother had done much work, including converting the large front yard to some sort of rodeo arena. There was unfinished construction all around. We entered the property, and it was unfinished lavishness. There was a sliding glass door, which I opened to find two swimming pools. Other parts of the house were more unfinished, and as I wandered around it was as run-down as I remember it being as a teenager. One of the rooms had a bed, and in it were a married couple that I think I knew but can't be sure. They looked very sad.

SECOND SEQUENCE:
I was riding in a car on the passenger side. My dad was driving. At this point, I became fully aware I was dreaming. I looked at my dad, and knowing he had died and I was talking to his spirit, I asked him, "How are you?"

"I'm doing well", he said. "I'm proud of you. I was very worried about you last time I saw you." (In 1995, before I moved to Dallas, I had a minor breakdown in front of my dad. I was crying furiously and it freaked him out. This is the event he was referring to, I did see him several times after I moved to Dallas, but I do remember that event clearly, and I'm sure it did worry him at the time.) At that point, I looked very closely at him, and two things occured to me. My dad was very country and would never say, "I'm doing well". And also, close inspection of his face made me realize that it looked ALMOST like him, but something was off. It might have been him, it might not.

SEQUENCE THREE:
I woke up on a couch in a house somewhere I didn't recognize. There were several people around me I didn't know. It was clearly their house. "You've been asleep for a day and a half", one said. "We just let you sleep". "Thank you for letting me sleep", I said. "Obviously I needed it."

"What's your name?" they asked. (At this point, I became fully aware, within the dream, that I was dreaming. I became keenly aware that I was some other dimensional plane. I knew I was alseep in my bed back at the hotel, and that Nicolle was alseep beside me.)

"I'm Tim Hawkins", I said. The reacted very strangely when I said this. One of them said something to the effect of, 'We've been expecting you."

At that point I looked up and a man in a green vest (kind of like those blue Wal-mart vests, only green) walked down a halway and up to me. "Follow me", he said. He appeared to be some sort of basic authority figure. So I followed him down the hallway.

Shortly, he began to run. I began to run after him. At that point I heard someone coming up behind me. I wasn't afraid, but I decided to outrun them. I started running faster and pulled away from them, but in doing so I lost sight of the man I was following. As we entered some large building (kind of like.. Wal-mart, only not Wal-mart). There were lots of people in regular clothes milling around.

The man had turned right or left and I had missed the direction he turned. I made a quick choice, and turned left. I ran into a crowd of the people with regular clothes.

(At this point I'm still fully aware I'm dreaming, and am convinced I'm on another dimensional plane.) I begin asking people what this place was, and telling them who I was. I asked several people about it. then I passed several people who appeared to be bowing to me, like in worship. Things were moving fast at this point because I was looking for the man in the green vest. I needed to find him.

I went back across the hallway I'd run down, over to the right side. There were more people in regular clothes. The all appeared to be becoming aware of me and who I was, and I started telling them who I was and was going to find out what this place was. I saw another man (not the same guy as before) in a green vest. As I started toward him, another man, this one wearing a green collared shirt, came up to me and took me by the arm. I got the sense that this man was a level above the men in green vests, mainly because of his shirt, but also because he seemed more knowledgable. He gently took my arm in his and leaned over and said in a whisper, "Shhhh. You don't want these people to know.

(The sense I got at the time is what he meant was that they didnt need to know who I was and where I was from. It was implied that yes, they wanted to talk to me, but the information I had wasn't for everyone. It might cause a panic, or might cause them to worship me. I complied. I just wanted answers, and his voice implied that the answers were coming.)

SEQUENCE FOUR:
I appeared in another hallway. This time it was a very ancient, stone building. Very dark. At the end of the hallway there were a group of men in hoods. Some kind of ancient order of monks was the sense I got. There may have been some candles lighting the place. Still being fully aware I was dreaming, I decided I didn't want them to see me, so I made myself invisible. I wanted to hear what they were saying.

I approached them. They were talking about me. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but I was sure it was about me. Beside them was a desk with a piece of paper on it. I looked at it. It was blank except for two or three lines of words at the top.

I decided to try to read the words off, in my dream, and verbalize them in my sleep so that Nicolle could hear them. (Remember, I've known I was dreaming the whole time, knew she was beside me, and even knew what time it was where I was sleeping that that she is normally awake at that hour. I figured if I could read the words off in my dream and verbalize them in my sleep, Nicolle would hear me. I wanted to do this in case I forgot the words later, as I often forget blocks of my dreams.)

I began to read the words. I recognized them at the time as very meaningful words that I've seen or thought recently in association with synchronicity.

(Mike Flipp will understand this as it relates to numbers.. you see many but there are certain ones that jump out at you and stick, and you see them repeatedly. I do this with certain numbers too, but recetly it has been happening with certain words as well. With me, it happens like this: my thought processes will be running over nothing in particular, just normal everyday thoughts, and certain words I think in my head will IMMEDIATELY manifest in reality.. I'm hear them on the TV, the radio, or I will see them on someone's shirt, or a billboard... Whatever medium is available depending on what I'm doing. It doesn't seem to matter where I am or what I'm doing, when it happens, it finds a way to manifest.)

So I read off several of the words, before the paper began to shake back and forth, as if there was some power (possibly whoever was controling the dream) knew I was trying to read them and communicate them back to Nicolle. I was able to read off several and was pretty sure I mumbled them in my sleep. I forgot most of what I read, but one I'm certain I saw was the word "PIL", and I'm pretty sure I saw 'CHILDREN" and "POWER". The last two I'm not as sure about, but "PIL" (with only one "L") I am certain about.

Whatever was shaking the paper back and forth then realized that I was still able to read them, so the words just started multiplying into basic words that meant nothing.. "dog", "cat".. basic words that I knew meant nothing. I couldn't read them all. So I stopped trying.

Then I decided to reveal myself to the elders (or monks or whatever). When I appeared, they were cleary taken aback by my appearance! They started to come toward me, and the dream ended.

AWAKE:
I woke up. It was early. I actually sleepwalked all the way across the floor to the door, trying to remain asleep and in the dream state. At that point the dream was clearly gone and I woke up completely.

The dream had been so clear and I'd had so much control over it, that I stood there and went over it three times with Nicolle. I did this for a couple of reasons.. I knew it was very important and wanted to nail it into both our heads so it wouldn't be forgotten. But also it was so real that I just couldn't keep talking about it. I posted on Facebook that I'd had "one of those dreams" and I'd explain it later. Then I lay back down and went to bed.

FINAL SEQUENCE:
I had scarecly started dozing, and remember that I was starting to dream something, when a second dream suddenly came into my head. I was actually dreaming two things at once. If you want me two explain how, I can't. But there was another, stronger consciousness present. The dream was of me bandaging a wound in someone's (a stranger's) leg with a tourniquet of dollar bills. It was very brief, then gone. And I woke up, mentioned it to Nicolle, considered posting it on Facebook, decided I was too sleepy, and went back to sleep. Didn't dream about anthing else afterward that morning.


Later on this day, the Dow Jones dropped 512 points. London closed down 3.5%. In Japan, The Nikkei dropped over 10%. The Japanese government had to intervene to stabilize the Yen.

I find myself wondering if I'd posted my dream about the tourniquet of dollar bills at 6:30, and someone had listened, would it have made a difference? The world markets lost trillions of dollars. I knew something was wrong early in the day. I knew the dream meant something. I just didn't know it would manifest so quickly.

This prophecy gift is both a blessing and a curse. My pastor told me as much yesterday when I met with her. Today, she was proven right. But it is what it is, and I'm still receptive to the gift. I guess from now on I'll do a better job writing things down and getting the word out when I have another dream like that.

And to all reading this.. I apologize for the harshness of the previous post, which I put up in anger. I won't take it down, because it's the truth, but it was unChristian of me to tear into the woman like that. I'm not perfect, I'm human. And many would say she had it coming. Especially after what we've been through at their hands. I ask all of you to understand my anger and need to further defend my wife. I should have taken the high road, but in my anger I didn't. But then again, one only has so many cheeks.

God Bless.

Tim

Reply to House Dropper

This comment is in response to "Anonymous" who threatened to drop a house on my head. I posted a reply on my FB, accepting their offer of housing. This was that person's reply to that.

"The house will drop on your head, NOT ... in your head! You're a very silly man. You can try to shame others, and me-self. Trying is all you will accomplish. The smarter ones are more clear headed, they don't fumble as you do, My God knows of all truths, lies, and deceit. his eyes are on you."

First of all, I know who you are. Having John call was your mistake. You're too weak and pitiful to call yourself. You are the only one who would be worried after I tore into your new family.. Chanelle. From what I hear, everyone is in quite a stir. If it were all crap, why be worried? If I were really that delusional, you'd just let it go. Even though you hide behind "anonymous", you give yourself away by several mistakes.

1. You never have understood the concept of approving blog comments. When you send 10 in the course of 30 minutes, the system treats them of spam. They're not gone, they're waiting to be approved. This is the second time you've made that mistake.

2. The the first time, your dumb mistake was the comment about "pandhandling a ride to Texas to make sure your daughter was ok". Hi Linda. I guess all the dope you did while leaving your children unattended for months at a time really had a profound affect on you.

3. Having John call after screaming at him all day was a sure giveaway. I have respect for John and he doesn't want to be involved. Stop making his life miserable. He has enough to worry about. Maybe you should go back to doing dope, or take up crocheting or something.

4. Don't "like" things on my Facebook page. People adept at blogstalking would know that already.

5. I can see you hit my blog all day long with that silly Samnsung phone you have. your browser is Netfront.

6. And this is most important... if you don't feel ashamed about what you did while you were down here, you really are beyond hope. Nicolle tried to deter me from tearing into you, and for the most part until now I really I have. I didn't mention the abuse to anyone at all. Don't make me. Back your ass up now and your weak ass reputation might have a chance of surviving. Actually, this goes for Chanelle, too. Nicolle might not be willing to put it up, but I know enough about Chanelle's sex life and ailments to fill a book, what Nicolle said Chanelle told her about Denny's penis would be very embarrassing if it got out. And if you want me to elaborate, please continue to jack with us. That goes for the both of you.

7. Even though you learned how to use consistent grammar, you still have consistent mistakes you don't even realize you have that identifies you.

8. If you gave a damn about your daughter, you'd call her instead of have John call her and bitch about what I put up. If you have a problem with what I write, call me. You have my number. Nicolle walked a few weeks ago for the first time in 7 months. If you cared, you'd call her. You'd email her. You'd send her a letter. But you don't. What you do is complain about what I put on the Internet. That's almost as despicable as withholding her medical equipment. And you KNOW you did it, lets not fool ourselves. John is the only one in the family who appears to give a damn about her, and he calls consistently. What you do is piss and moan. Get over yourself.

Back off, if you know what's good for you. That's not a physical threat.. because I'm out of it. It's a DPD/Federal matter now. If you haven't done anything wrong, then you have nothing to worry about. (*wink* we both know the truth of that, don't we?).

If you have further problems with what I say and are too much of a coward to use the phone, our room number is 255. We'll be expecting you.

By the way, IA and the Feds have all your phone numbers. I made sure they were provided in the report. That goes for you too, Chanelle, and Denny. Carla's wasn't available, but I'm sure since she worked for the courthouse, they can find her.

Have a nice day.

Mental Prophecy

I want to relate to you something that happened over the weekend. I was walking to Taco Bell to get food for Nicolle and myself. Now, this is a rough part of town, and there are alot of homeless people. As it goes with the homeless, some are genuine people who have had a hard time, and some are genuinely evil people out to take advantage of others. One guy I've heard of around here who begs for money on the corner actually lives in a giant house and from what I've heard has significant control of some of the local gang activity.

On my way to get food, I past a homeless couple that I have seen on more than one occasion. I know these two from when they took advantage of a couple of other friends of mine who used to live here, and who I have written about in this blog, Ed and Cliff. I get a very bad vibe from them. I don't claim to know exactly what they're involved in, but I assure you it isn't good.

What was weird was that the two were accompanied by two other known drug people, which caught my attention specifically because the couple is usually by themselves. They were hogging the sidewalk, and I had to cut through the grass to avoid them. As I passed the four of them, I thought, "Man are they really going the wrong way. Both literally, and figuratively.". I also thought something to the effect of, "The wages of sin is death." After that, I forgot about them and went on about my business.

Also, earlier the same day, Nicolle and I had caught up on our daily devotionals. We had missed two of them, so we read them all at once along with the associated scriptures. The first of them referenced 1 Kings 3:12 - "Indeed I give you a wise and discerning mind." That verse in particular had been on my mind since we read it.

The next morning, I awoke and got on line, as usual. The first headline I saw was a post by a local news station:

"Wrong way collision kills four in Wise County overnight..."

Chocolate Milk

About a week or so ago Nicolle requested breakfast from the Shell by where we live. She also requested I get her a chocolate milk.

Teasing her, I said "the Shell is out of chocolate milk. Not just that, they're out of all milk all together." I was joking, of course. Who runs out of milk?

I went to the Shell to get her breakfast (which is pretty good, actually). Then I went over to get her milk.

There wasn't any. No chocolate, no white milk. I looked more closely.

There, turned on its side, was one remaining chocolate milk.

It was Promised Land chocolate milk.

It was out of date and had been left behind, apparently. So they gave it to me for free.

Full Moon Enchanted Evening

One night a few weeks ago, Nicolle and I ordered Chinese food. Our two fortune cookies that night read:

"You will bring sunshine into someone's life."

and

"Next full moon will be an enchanting evening."

Well, Sunshine is my daughter's name. Tonight is the next full moon. That said, let me tell you the story of my evening.

Nicolle had a doctor's appointment today, and as usual we went via ParaTransit. The driver on the ride home was friendly, and after I got Nicolle situated here in the room he offered me a ride back up to Parkland to fill her prescriptions. This was a nice thing to do.. they're really not supposed to do that. But I accepted.

When I got to Parkland pharmacy I pulled a ticket to wait in line. The number was 326. At that point I looked at the time on my phone, so I would know how long I would have to wait. The time was 6:23.

I filled the prescriptions and left. Normally I take the train back home, so I walked to the train station. When I got there, the station was almost deserted, except for a black ladies wallet sitting by itself on a seat. I grabbed it and looked inside at the driver's license photo, hoping I would see the owner standing around somewhere and I could return the wallet to her. She was gone. So, I resolved to take the wallet and find the owner.

I took the train to Bachman Station, and arrived about 45 minutes early for the bus, which takes me back to the hotel. Being hot and having extra time, I decided to walk over to Racetrac for something to drink.

After grabbing a Sprite Zero at the fountain, I looked over and there was an unattended iPhone and car keys lying by itself. Once again, the owner was nowhere in sight. At this point I'm thinking, "Is this lose your crap day?"

I turned the phone and keys in to the cashier. He gave me the drink for free. Nice.

So, I walked back to the bus stop. While waiting for the bus, a lady comes up and asks me what time it was. I looked at my phone. "9:11", I said. Damn. 911 again.

When I got home I looked through the wallet more thoroughly, to get her name and hopefully to find a number where I could reach her. I didn't find a number, but her name is Donna Marie. My sister, who I've just recently gotten back into contact with, is named Donna Marie.

In the wallet I found a card for what appears to be a group called Zion Trinity. There was also a printout of the winning lottery numbers, which I spoke about in the previous post. I'd never have seen those numbers if I hadn't decided to try to help the lady.

While I was poking through the wallet, Nicolle asked me what time it was. I looked at the computer. "11:11", I said. Sigh.

So anyway. That's the story of my enchanted evening. Numbers, numbers, numbers. The same ones over and over. 911 and 1111.

I realize this may all be not that exciting or enchanting to the average reader, but you folks have to understand something: Lately this type of stuff happens to me ALL the TIME. If it were a one time deal, I'd say, "Sure, it's a coincidence". But it's not. And it isn't.

Bruce Fenton calls it "synchronicity". I didn't realize there was a name for it. Also, apparently the 11:11 phenomenon is happening to a lot of people lately. It is interesting to note that the end of the current Mayan long count calendar happens on December 21st, 2012, at 11:11. This coincides with the exact timing of the 2012 winter solstice. The Mayans were able to calculate this more than 5000 years ago, down to the minute. You can read Bruce's article on both by clicking here.

Predictive Numbers

Readers of this blog and my FB page know that I've been having predictive dreams, and have been talking about numbers jumping out at me recently. Some of the numbers I've specifically talked about seeing are:

111 and 1111
3: The trinity
666: Number of the beast
9/11: My birthday
4444: Noticed it last Sunday, July 10th, on the building next door to this hotel and on the key card to the room (it's the last four digits for the number to Dominos). I didn't notice the 4444 before then. I mentioned seeing it to someone on Facebook.

Well, apparently I predicted most of the numbers in both the Texas Mega Millions for July 12th and the Texas Powerball for July 9th. The winning numbers are are:

July 12th Mega Millions
3 - 9 - 11 - 44 - 49 Megaball - 9

July 9th Powerball:
9 - 11 - 1 - 23 - 31 Powerball - 6 Powerplay - 3

Too bad I don't buy lottery tickets.

Dear Friends

Friends,

I previously have emailed the FBI about illegal wiretaps and rerouted phones from this hotel room. I also came in person on July 5th to the Dallas FBI main building with the same information, as well as other information. Also, per the FBI's direction, on July 7th I filed a report in person with the Dallas Internal Affairs Division about the events of March 19th, May 24th and thereafter. I also mentioned the rerouted phone lines in this report.

Sometime between July 5th and July 7th, the outgoing phone number from this hotel room has changed. When my girlfriend used the room phone to call my cell phone at 5:21 PM on July 4th, the call showed up on my call list as being from 214-351-5217. This has been the outgoing number from this room, and other rooms, for this hotel since I've been here..

The next time she called my cell from the room phone was at 4:27PM on July 7th, the call showed up as 214-654-0799.

This means that someone has changed the phone routing from at least this room sometime between July 4th and July 7th. I find this very interesting given I've complained about rerouted phone lines to both the FBI and Internal Affairs in this time period.

I hope and pray that the re-routing was uncovered during the course of the ongoing investigation, and not because someone was tipped off and removed equipment to hide their tracks. Based on what Nicolle and I know about things that have happened to us, this is entirely possible. I do not know for sure why the change was made because I have not contacted IA since the report.

Robert Hawkins

Visual Proof

Someone came over with their laptop cam today to photograph the images I spoke of in my last post. Keep in mind that it's hard to hold a laptop up in the air steady, however it appears both images came out pretty clearly.

Here is the first. Keep in mind that Nicolle is in serious pain, day in and day out. She spends a lot of time looking at the ceiling. This is written in the ceiling directly above her head:





The second is the angel facing a devil's head. It is in the plaster on the wall behind this laptop. It is less clear on film than in person, but here it is anyway:

Signs from God

This is the nost important post I will ever put up. Remember this day.

A few days ago Nicolle was having faith issues. When one lies in bed most of the time in agonizing pain, faith can tend to waver. I asked God, out loud, to send her something to give her a sign.. something to help her restore her faith. I went on an outing, and she went to sleep.

Later that night, when I got home I was lying beside her and she said, 'It appears to say the word "Pain" on the ceiling. "And under that it says "cell". Of course I thought she was seeing things, because with a popcorn ceiling it is sometimes easy for your mind to make images out of nothing.

I looked for myself, and there, very clearly, in the ceiling, one word below and to the right of the other, it says, "Pain CELL".

I nearly flipped out. I don't have a digital camera or a cam on my phone, or I'd have a picture of it up already.

So last night a friend of ours dropped by to take me to the store. I showed it to him. I wanted to see if he could make it out without me outlining the letters with a pointer. He found it immediately. It's THERE.

A few minutes later he was sitting beside me, and he says, "Look at the wall".

I looked, and after a little difficulty finding where he was pointing, I saw it. It is a very, very clear outline of a female angel, facing what appears to be the head of a devil.

I swear under penalty of God himself that this is not a hoax, not something I concocted, or did myself.

It's funny, because if you remember my previous posts on this blog, I had asked God to send me an angel. It appears that is exactly what has happened. It also appears he has answered my prayer to send her a sign to restore her faith, which is now back at full strength.

As soon as I can get my hands on a digital camera or someone comes by with a phone with a high resolution cam, I'll be putting up images.

Get this through your heads now, people... this is not a hoax.

May 24th, 2011 - Part 2

So they released me from Lew Sterrett. Once I had my cell phone back, I immediately called the hotel to find out what had been going on.

On my first attempt, I got the front desk recording, and hit 255 for the room number. I got a message that said, "This call is out of area". What the hell? The call to the hotel went through, but the transfer to the room didn't. I called back, hit 255 again, and this time the call went through.

Nicolle answered. She sounded freaked out. I asked her what had been going on. She said she would tell me when I got back. She called a friend of ours who came and got me and took me back to the hotel.

When I got there, I found out the rest of the story.

Apparently after I was taken, the phone to our room had been jacked with somewhere in the routing switch. She said she had tried to call 911 from the room phone, and got nothing but dead air. She had tried to call someone else, who's name I will keep out of this for the time being for investigation reasons, but it is someone in authority. When Nicolle dialed the number from the room phone, she was told, "She doesn't work here". She tried it again. Again she was told, "She doesn't work here."

She was able to get through to another friend of ours, Tara, who immediately came right over. I don't know why the call went through to Tara.. I guess it was a number they didn't know. But she did get through, and Tara came. God bless her. That girl has been there for us on more than one occasion. Readers of this blog will remember that Tara was the one who went in the middle of the night to buy Nicolle a bedpan when hers were being held hostage.

When Nicolle called the authority figure from Tara's phone, the call went through. The person was very surprised to learn I was in jail. She said I didn't appear in the jail system. At all. She said she would look into it immediately. Tara also looked online at the time, in the jail database, and I didn't show up there, either. At all. From what I understand, she continued to check all day. There was absolutely no record of me being in jail at all that day. That explains the missing signatures on the paperwork. The whole thing was a complete fabrication.

That isn't the best part. Apparently Tara found this laptop disassembled and hidden under the couch cushions in the room. She said the laptop was under the cushions, the charger was taken apart and hidden under this desk. Nicolle's medication, her cell phone and her bedpans were all taken and placed out of reach. Nicolle had to urinate on a blanket because of these assholes. She never did find Nicolle's eyeglasses.

I found those when I got back. They had been wrapped up in a green grocery bag and hidden under a side table all the way back against the wall. Somewhere she would never be able to reach, even if she knew where they had been hidden. She can't walk, let alone crawl around on the floor.

I'm guessing the whole point of all that was to do their best to make sure she couldn't contact anyone. If she hadn't gotten through to Tara, and subsequently was able to get through to someone in authority who started calling the jail and asking questions, there is no telling what would have happened to me.

Did you know that depriving a person of their eyeglasses for any reason is considered torture by the Geneva Convention? It's called no-touch torture. Look it up. These guys were highly trained in these tactics. I don't know who the hell they were working for, but given everything else that happened the way it did it is clear to me that they were under orders from someone. My guess is that they were some sort of DPD black ops unit that does this type of thing. I still don't know. The Interal Affairs investigation is just getting underway. The FBI is aware of what happened, because I went to them first, in person, and told them about all this, and the IA report was a result of their instruction. As I've said in another post, it was during the three day time period of my visits to both the FBI and IA that the outgoing number from this room phone changed. My guess is that either someone got wind of what I was doing and pulled out, or the Feds caught them. There are Federal wiretapping laws, and that gives them jurisdiction.

Somebody somewhere is definitely running scared right now. And they should be. Too many people in authority know about this. There are too many witnesses to what went on.

What was the point of all these events? Well, the police got sucked into what happened on March 19th under false pretenses, by someone who lied to them (I have a good idea who... isn't that right CHANELLE SAMUEL, DENNY BUCCI and CARLA SAMUEL?) and told them about drugs and drug addicts that didn't exist. But they came without a warrant, disregarded my 911 calls and the 911 calls made by both my friend Jack and even Nicolle's dad, who called from Missouri. My opinion is that what they did on the 24th was related to the coverup of that, somehow. But they got caught doing it. I dunno, maybe they planned to have me killed while I was in jail. I just don't know yet. The investigation is just getting underway, and some people are going to burn for this.

Funny thing about Chanelle's mother, Carla... she used to work for the city. In the courthouse right by.... Lew Sterrett jail. She has dated several cops. And she was also the person I saw in my doorway on March 19th that I didn't recognize, which caused me to charge into the apartment thinking my family was in danger. Funny how the police ignored multiple 911 intruder calls for almost an hour but showed up right after Chanelle and Carla walk out with my daugher for a "drug call". Amazing coincidence, no? Another amazing coincidence is that Carla lives in Oklahoma, and had just arrived in town right as all this went down. Incredible timing. Absolutely amazing. And here's the best coincidence yet.. Nicolle and I had had a falling out with Chanelle and Denny on March 18th, the day before the fake drug raid. I still have the email I sent to them. It was a little strongly worded, but it lays out the initial problem. I'll be happy to post that here for your viewing pleasure.

Then Chanelle and Denny were nice enough to retrieve Nicolle's mother from Missouri a few days later, and even more chaos ensued. That's all detailed previously in this blog as well.

Of course I'm just a delusional jerk who abuses his kid and girlfriend. I'm a crazy, violent drug addict. That's why I drug tested negative by the police during the raid on March 19th and negative by the CPS caseworker, Jeremy Pinnell, who came to visit us a few weeks later. I don't know what I'm talking about. That's why I'm letting the FBI sort all this out.

There are no coincidences. Ask Carl Jung about it.

May 24th, 2011 - Part 1

It's time I wrote about what happened to us on the night of May 24th, 2011.

Nicolle had been asleep for most of the night. She had been behaving strangely all evening, in and out of sleep. I can't exactly explain what was happening, it was something like being asleep and awake at the same time. She would wake up and not know who I was. I do know she had been on several depression medications prescribed by her doctor, both Prozac and trazadone, and had run out of both a day or two before. I have no idea exactly what was going on, but suffice it to say that I was very concerned, so I asked hotel security to call paramedics.

The paramedics came. They talked to her for a long time. They decided not to transport her with the firm understanding that I would not let her out of my sight. I would have preferred they take her in for evaluation, but they said no, and to call back if the situation got worse.

While all this was going on, I decided to try to get in touch with Nicolle's dad to let him know what was going on. I couldn't find my cell phone and didn't know his number, so I picked up the room phone, thinking I could get information from 1411. As I was doing this, before the call went through, I heard a female voice on the line who said something to the effect of "Go operation Alpha ____" I don't remember the last part of what the go code was. It freaked me out, so I hung up.

A few minutes after the paramedics left, two Dallas police officers showed up. One was black and one was white. They started asking questions and for ID. This had been a medical emergency, not a police matter, so I wasn't sure what they were doing there. Checking things out at the time I supposed. I didn't connect them with what I had heard on the phone at the time.

I couldn't find my wallet with my ID, and they stood over me as I dug around trying to find it. Never did. So, they got my SSN and told me to go wait in the lobby. This is about the time I started realizing something wasn't right.

While I was in the lobby, Nicolle says the white officer stood over her while the black officer started bustling around the room. She didn't know what he was doing, because he was keeping it out of sight. Eventually one of the officers came down to the lobby to get me and take me back up. When I got up there, I walked over to her and asked her, "Are you ok?". "SHE'LL BE FINE", the black officer said. "FIND YOUR SHOES." Ok, now shit is really starting to get weird. I had no idea what they had done while I was in the lobby. Nicolle said later that what they had done was force her to climb off the floor back into bed by herself. I didn't get the rest of the story until I got back.

The black officer informed me that I was going to jail. "For what?" I asked. "It appears you have a traffic ticket in Tarrant County." For the record, DPD does not have a policy of arresting people for traffic warrants in other counties. Normally they have enough to deal with.

So he handcuffs me and transports me to the county jail. The handcuffs were so tight that I couldn't feel my hands. Every time he hit a bump in the squad car, I screamed. I've been handcuffed before, and I know they aren't built for comfort, but this wasn't just uncomfortable. They were so tight that I had grooves around my wrists a quarter inch deep and couldn't type for a week afterwards. I still think I have nerve damage in the left side of my hand. I told him several times they were too tight and asked him to loosen them. He said, "Naw, they LOOSE". At one point I was in so much pain that I started squirming in the back of the police car. He told me that if he had to pull over "that I wasn't going to like it".

So we get to the jail. The white officer, who had been in a separate car, arrived. They made me carry my shoes, hancuffed, while holding up my pants, into Cental Booking at Lew Sterrett jail.

At this point, the black officer started asking personal history questions.. name, ssn, where I was born, and whether or not I had been in the military. Then, the white officer asked me the same questions, but filled out an identical form. Two officers, both independently filling out identical forms? WTF?

Nether of them ever even said "you're under arrest". No one ever read me Miranda rights. The only thing I got was "you have a traffic warrant in Tarrant county.

So I was booked in (supposedly). Saw a nurse. Told her I had diabetes. She took my blood sugar, which was a little high. So she put a white band on my arm, which means I am supposed to see a doctor.

I was seated in the waiting area. At this point I raised my hand, and the guards asked me what I wanted. I said, "I'd like to speak to a detective." So one of the guards said, "follow me".

I followed him. He lead me around the corner and straight into the drunk tank. He tole the guards in there, "This one can't sit still." And locked me in.

Now the drunk tank at Lew Sterrett is HUGE. It's probably 60 yards long and 30 feet wide. It's built to hold probably between 50 and 100 people. It is a significant chunk of real estate at the Dallas county jail and is probably usually crowded. On this night, I was the only SOB in there. At all. For hours.

I asked repeatedly to see a doctor. I was told no. I kept trying to call the hotel where Nicolle was to find out what was going on. I would get the front desk recording, and before I could punch the room number, the call cut off. Every time.

Finally, after several hours, I got through on one of the phones to what I thought was a bondsman, but he answered, "Attorney's office". I asked him "what kind of attorney are you?" "I'm a criminal attorney", he said. And before I could say another word, the door to the tank opened and some sort of riot squad came in. The told me to drop the phone and get in one of the side cells. "Well, I just got through to an attorney, can it wait a second?" "GET IN THE CELL!" they said. So I left the phone hanging and got in the cell. As they were walking out I said, "SO I GUESS THIS MEANS I CAN'T SPEAK TO AN ATTORNEY??" They ignored me and left.

I had now been in the tank for probably 4-5 hours. I had tried to call out many, many times and for some reason the calls kept getting cut off, busy signal, something. Every time. I got through to a bondsman one or two times, and asked them to call Nicolle at the hotel and give her a message, and through to the "attorney" once. This was out of about 20 calls I must have made.

Eventually someone came in and got me to take me out to court. When I walked out, I was hastily photographed, and some papers were stuck in front of me and the guy said, "these are you Dallas citations, sign these". Uh... I was never arrested for Dallas citations. I didn't even know I had any.

I was given a paper that set me to appear for a supposed bad check from God knows when. I had no idea what it was about or if it was even real. Could have been, I'm not perfect, but I sure as shit didn't know about it. The paper I was given said, "You are hereby released from Dallas County Jail" and it gave an appearance date. Ok, they're letting me go, I thought. I was wrong. So very wrong.

They took me over to stand in line for court. When I got there, I looked up. Now, I don't know if any of you know what police brass looks like.. you know, the Lieutenants, Captains.. the people with brass on their badges and hats. There were about 10 or 15 of them. AND THEY WERE ALL LOOKING AT ME. I nooded to one, and he nodded back. He had a funny look on his face.. not hate, more like.. respect?

Man, this business has definitely taken a turn for the surreal.

So I go to court. The judge goes over everyone else, and comes to me last. To me she says, "Mr. Hawkins, I don't even want to hear about that paper in your left hand. You have a traffic warrant in Tarrant County. Your bond is $500. They have 10 days to come get you and you are being held. I can't answer any questions." They gave me a piece of paper that had the bond amount on it with Euless PD (Euless is in Tarrant County). What the hell, the first paper I got says I was released. Now this paper says something different.

And there is something else I noticed. I had three pieces of paperwork by this time.. a property receipt, the citation to appear given to me by the fingerprint guard, and the judges paper. But none of them had any signatures!

Eventually I was taken upstairs to be dressed out for general population. I was in a holding cell up there for another.. 2 hours or so. There are no clocks in this place so I don't have an accurate account of the time, so I'm guessing. But that's probably pretty close.

Then they put me in line for dress out. I was last. At this point, something weird started happening. The guards would count the people in line, then go look at a piece of paper. Then come back and count. Then look at the paper. The count was off. Someone was there that wasn't supposed to be. Guess who that was. ME.

The nurse came around to give TB shots. I showed her my white armband and said, "Ma'am, I was supposed to see a doctor hours ago. Can you help me with that?" "Did you just get here?" she asked. "No, this paper says I've already been released. I don't understand what is going on. She looked at the armband, and had a look on her face that I will never forget as long as I live. It was a look of, "Oh shit."

I was taken into the dress out room, told to drop my paperwork, stripped, and forced to face the wall, bend over, open my ass up so the guard could look into it. When I turned back around I was handed a bag to put my blanket and stuff in. When I looked into the bag, I saw a piece of paper, I looked at it. It was one of my papers from court. I looked behind me. There were the other two papers. The sonofabitch guard had grabbed some of my paperwork and placed it in the bag when I wasn't looking. If I hadn't happened to notice what was in the bag and look behind me, I would have never seen the other paperwork and it would have been gone. I would never have had most of the record of me ever being in jail.

So I dress out. The guard is vicious and rude. And now apparently pissed that I caught him. He takes me out and sticks me in a holding cell by myself.

I'm in the cell for quite a while. No one comes to get me. FINALLY, I hit the button on the wall and tell them that I've been trying to see a doctor all day. I have diabeties. They say they'll send someone down.

So this guy.. don't know who he was.. what rank or whatever, comes down. He asked me what he could do for me. I tell him the whole situation, about not seeing a doctor, about not understanding why I'm in jail at all when I have a severely disabled adult at home who is probably by herself without anyone to take care of her. At this point I started crying.. not from anger or because I'm a pansy, but out of sheer frustration. I've been treated a dog all day and I've taken their best shots. But finally I just broke.

He said, "Okay, let me see your paperwork and I'll try to find out what's going on." he takes my paperwork and leaves. About 10 minutes later he comes back, and says, "Uh... heh.. well, it appears you were never supposed to be dressed out. The captain (I think he said Captain, not sure) said he was going to go ahead and release you. Just this once. As long as you take care of that warrant.

Nice try. If I was never supposed to be dressed out, why was he doing me a favor by releasing me? I was clearly never even supposed to be up there.

Oh, it gets better.

So I was taken to bookout to be released. I will never forget this as long as I live. While I was standing in line, I hear one of the guards say, "SERGEANT ON THE FLOOR!" The sergeant walk in, sees me and does a double take. He beats his chest like a football player and yells, "ROBERT HAWKINS! YEAH! LETS KEEP IT GOIN' BABY!!"

It was something like mad respect. What in the hell has just happened here.

I was released.

This post has gotten long, so I'll have to continue it in part two. You are not going to believe what I find out when I am released.

Part 4: How It Really Is

One of the things people ask about our current situation is, "why are we living in a hotel?"

We haven't always. Seven months ago we had an entire houseful of stuff. We had chairs, couches, dishes, beds and computers. Pictures. Toys that belonged to Ilona. Meaningful things we have collected over a lifetime. Things normal people have that they use to live their lives. Granted, the vast majority of this stuff was in a storage unit in Tarrant County, where we lived for two years. We decided in November to move back to Dallas and start anew. We subletted an apartment from Calista, who was in a bind because she had leased the apartment and then couldn't afford to pay for it. We saw it as a win-win situation for her and us. It was even partially furnished, with a king-size bed, a couch and chair and a few other things. We were not only paying her lease for her, but we also were paying monthly on all the furniture that came with the place. We had what we needed. Three days after we moved in, the accident happened.

After the events of March 19th, we were throw out into the street. Calista and the others bagged up what little extra stuff we had accumulated, including the medical equipment, and threw it into another local storage unit that I provided money for. She also kept all the furniture we had been paying on, and from the time or two I've been to the new unit, it looks like some things were stolen from what they bagged up as well. I have noticed several items missing, including a mattress and houseful of food, that mysteriously did not make it into the unit. There are probably other things, but we don't know yet, because we haven't been able to go through everything. What it does look like, however, that in addition to picking through everything we own while I was at the hospital sitting with Nicolle, someone just took whatever they wanted. Nicolle's friend Andrea had been in town that week and had generously bought us new kitchenware and a houseful of food. All of that food was either taken or thrown away. They told everyone it was all rotten. I think Andrea might have something to say about that.

So, after Nicolle was cleared and released from Parkand, we landed here. The same day we came here, I paid up the other storage unit in Tarrant County. The unit in Dallas, where our pillaged stuff was placed, was off limits because Nicolle's mother removed our names from the lease. I was listed as "expressly forbidden to enter". This addendum wasn't removed until weeks after everyone involved left Texas. Anyone who doesn't believe this can call Marilyn at Uncle Bob's Storage on Skillman street and ask her. Also, I have a copy of the contract. Ooops.

This hotel room runs $240 a week. We have no vehicle, because it was totaled in November in the accident. We have been getting by, barely, but without a car and without me being able to get back to work. Taking care of Nicolle is a full-time job, and one that I'm happy to do. But other people put us in this situation, and recovering from the devastation of a major car accident is hard enough without other people doing their best to take advantage of the no-car, low-income, bedridden-adult situation to crush what was left of our lives.

We've lost the storage in Tarrant County. It was just too much to pay, considering we've been more worried about things like a roof and food. We have not had enough money for deposits on a new place, just enough to remain barely afloat here. No one has offered to help, really, and I haven't asked. And I won't. No one owes us anything except the people who did this, and they're too busy lying to cover their own asses at this point and pointing fingers at each other to bother with us. They should cover their own asses, too.. because one day we'll recover enough to get out of this mess, and we will have justice.

For anyone thinking I've forgotten about posting the text messages we were sent during that despicable week, I haven't. I'll get around to it in depth. In fact, here are a few choice ones to tide you over.

----

"You're beaufriend is toxic....that is why I'm in texas. He feeds you, he wipes your ass,,,, he feeds you drugs in multiple combinations that could KILL YOU........that is TOXIC!!!!!!!! I have a mothers love and you think i'm toxic??????" 3/23/2011 07:04PM [FROM} Nicolle Mom"

"Could you vanish, go die??????" 3/23/2011 07:11PM [FROM] Nicolle Mom"

"I got into calista's face,,,not the other way around. I am Not holding her equip. Hostage goofy,,, You are holding her hostage from me and now she is a Missing Person and an APB out on her....maybe you'll see it on the news. You have hid her from me, the hospital would not talk to either her dad or I,,,,,that's horrible...WE LOVER her most. You sabotage her, drug her, take her meds than she suffers because of YOU. You've hit her...you should of thought twice on that one. You keep her fucked up so she can't think clearly.....truthfully, i don't think she even really wants you....i believe she really wants to die....that is WHY she lets you drug her so much....then she don't have to realize how really deepdown she hates you. You made her a dirty...now she just wants to die." 03/23/2011 10:03 PM [FROM] Nicolle Mom"

"This is a new day. Are youi going to tell me whwere you are holding Nikki? HOlding her without the things she needs is only causing her more distress. Each day you are breaking her down by the ongoing neglect." 03/24/2011 08:58 AM [FROM] Nicolle Mom"

"Fuck you tim....I'll send you a postcard in prison tobremind yoiu how i feel about you." 03/25/2011 03:19 PM [FROM] Nicolle Mom"

---

Nothing like a mother's love, indeed.

Dreams Come True

Lately I have been having dreams that have been coming true either the next day or shortly thereafter. Usually the dreams come true the next day, but the lone exception was a dream about a dual-bladed military transport helicopter crash that as of the posting of this entry I have not seen happen yet. I did see a news report on June 21st about a drone helicopter crash in Libya, but the copter in that crash bore no resemblance to the one in my dream. Nicolle pointed this out immediately, and said on this one I was reaching. As of today the dual-bladed copter crash has not happened as far as I can tell.

Someone has asked me to post an accounting of the first of these dreams. This is strictly an accounting. I do attribute these dreams to being a gift from the Holy Spirit; however I offer no interpretation. Make your own interpretation. If there is anyone who believes I'm making this up.. fine. Move along then. This is my blog, not yours. You can call me delusional, crazy, or whacked out. I don't care. I've been called much worse by certain people recently, and frankly, nothing anyone can say about me will ever hurt me again. That goes for Nicolle, too... the next person to call her hurtful names, accuse her of being crazy, lie about her, or hurt her in any way should fear the Hand of God. We've had enough lies spoken about us and treachery done to us to last us the rest of our lives.

Anyway, here's that dream:

---

"For the record have a soft spot in my heart for veterans, and I befriended a couple of vets here in the hotel where I live, by the name of Cliff and Ed. Good guys.

In the dream, Cliff approached me and handed me what looked like a dollar bill. He said, "Do you know what that is?" I didn't have my glasses on at the time so I had a hard time seeing it. I put my glasses on and squinted and I was able to see what he handed me.

"That's a silver certificate," I said.

"Right!" said Cliff, and took it back from me. At that point the dream ended,

I woke up, told NIcolle about the dream, and opened my Bible randomly and started reading. I happened to open it to Matthew where I read about Judas Iscariot betraying Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. I thought this quite a coincidence, but wait until you hear what happened next.

The next day Ed called and asked me to come down, so I went. When I got there Ed asked to borrow twenty bucks, and handed me 1937 solid silver coin to hold as collateral. The talk then turned to the silver content of the coin, and then Ed and Cliff both began to talk about silver certificates.

I was floored."

Miracles, not Coincidences

Long time readers of this blog know I have been having an undeniable string of coincidences happening in my life of late. You can look back through some of my earlier entries to read about those, but the evens of the past 24 hours have been absolutely unbelievable. As usual, lots of what I see revolves around specific numbers, particularly my birthday (9/11), the Trinity and 666. These numbers keep jumping out at me no matter where I go.

Last night a friend took Nicolle and I to Wal-mart to buy groceries. The total of the bill was 111.66. Not sure what to make of that combination but if you flip it, it is 99.111. That's my birthday in the center of that there. Also, last night Nicolle bought a wallet, which was no big deal at the time.

Fast forward to church today. After the service, we're poking around in the gift shop and lo and behold.. they have wallets for sale. They also have crucifixes, and one of them was a crucifix on a silver chain that Nicolle tried on.

Then I got to looking at one of the wallets, and noticed it was inscribed with Isaiah 40. (By the way, I'm age 40) So I pop open my KJV and start reading. "The workman molds an image, the goldsmith overspreads it with gold, and the silversmith casts silver chains." Isaiah 40:19

So I bought the wallet, which was $15. Then I rolled Nicolle out to the corner to wait for the Paratransit bus, and when we got to the corner she pointed to something. "Look at the stickers on that car,"

I looked. Both the inspection and registration sickers had 9-11 on them.

Tonight I got a fortune cookie that read "You will bring sunshine into someone's life". My daughter is named Sunshine.

So if you're all still skeptical of what you've read here, put this in your pipe and smoke it: Wile I was typing this, the television was on King of the Hill. On the show Bobby Hill was with Hank. Buying a wallet. That just happened to be $15.

I swear on my life I'm not making any of this up.

Part 3: In Text We Trust

In the next few days, I will be transcribing text messages sent to Nicolle and I during the week of March 19th thru March 27th. These messages will be verbatim. If anyone has any doubts about the authenticity of what I put up, they are more than welcome to come visit me and view them for themselves. Last time I checked I had around 109.

Strangely enough, it seems some of the messages Nicolle's mom sent to Nicolle appeared to be sent from an iPhone. It's clear that there was a large degree of manipulation of Linda by Chanelle, up to and including Chanelle taking Linda's SIM card and putting it in her iPhone and typing messages for her. Also, Linda probably didn't know this at the time but the police escort Chanelle and/or Carla "provided" her were cops working outside their jurisdiction, making the whole thing illegal and undocumented. This is a big no-no in police procedure. This doesn't excuse what Nicolle's mom did, but I don't believe she knew it was outside the law.

But Chanelle did.

Part 2: Mothers, Daughters and, Oh Yeah.. Fathers, Too

I'm trying to decide just how much my ex, Brenda, had to do with what happened to us on March 19th. What is interesting to me is that I know she exchanged numbers with Denny Bucci in the parking lot of the place we normally go to pick up Ilona. When I asked her about this via email, she said something to the effect of "I don't have time for all this drama."

One of the facts I've not mentioned before is that Ilona was in the car with Nicolle when the accident happened. Ilona broke her back in two places and had to have rods inserted. After I found out about the accident and was on the way to the hospital, I called Brenda and she told me that I wasn't welcome there. I told her I was coming anyway, and when I got there I was met by three security guards who asked me if I'd been drinking. I told them "NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN DRINKING, MY DAUGHTER IS IN THIS HOSPITAL, AND I WANT TO SEE HER NOW. PLEASE." I'm certain this was something Brenda put them up to.

If you're still not convinced Brenda would be above something like this, consider this excerpt from an email she sent to Nicolle while she was in Methodist after the accident:

"I really have not been in contact with Tim and I really don't want to be. Ever. He told me he was kicked out of your hospital, and I just had to laugh about it. I'm sorry! I am cruel, but I can't help it. I wish he would leave us alone."

Incidentally I was kicked out of the hospital because someone from Nicolle's family, who was able to afford a room on the premises, told security that I tried to climb into bed with Nicolle while she was in CCU. I was sleeping on a couch in the lobby at the time, because, well.. our car had been totaled and I had no way to get home. And, no... I never tried to climb in bed with Nicolle in CCU. What I did do is lean over and kiss her forehead. I couldn't kiss her lips because of the tubes coming out of her mouth.

Still, I'm not sure about Brenda's involvement. Ilona loves her mother, and even if I thought Brenda was involved with the "throw Tim in jail" plot, I wouldn't pursue anything against her because it would take Ilona away from her mother. But, at this point I just don't know.

Nothing but Facts Here

For those who don't know, Nicolle was in a car accident last November which resulted in massive trauma to her body. She nearly died. She told me tonight the man who saved her life, at Methodist hospital in Dallas, was Dr. John Jay.

Maybe you should Google the name John Jay sometime and see what comes up.

At some other point I'll tell you more about the events surrounding our lives of late.

Sic semper tyrannis.

Conspiracy Theory: On Fault Lines, the Chinese Threat and US Government Cooperation

A personal blog is a place for entertaining one's self. Thanks to the United States Constitution, I have the right to entertain any idea I want, in public, no matter how ludacris, delusional or paranoid it may sound. In that vein, today's topic is wild conspiracy theories. Let it be known that my theory is my personal opinion, is based on some pretty heavy research of fact, rumors and a game of connect-the-dots. If you are reading this, dear reader, all I ask is for you to briefly drop any barriers to such theories and entertain the possibility that I could be correct.

The United States is in turmoil. We have never been more divided, distracted and at each other's throats than we are today. We are over a trillion dollars in debt to the Chinese, a country which has also been buying up gold, silver and copper at an unprecedented rate for the last ten years or so.

When I worked for the ISD (Instrumentation Services Division) arm of the Army Corps of Engineers, one of the projects we dealt with was searching for underground tunnels in Korea. Apparently the North Koreans, supported by China, are masters of underground tunneling, and our job was to use seismic equipment and ground penetrating radar to search the South Korean border area for such tunnels. I personally did not go on these assignments, but many people I worked with did and I had a basic understanding of what they were doing. The Chinese are masters of civil engineering and have been for thousands of years. Ever heard of the Great Wall of China? Yeah, like that.

Now, the Chinese military knows that a nuclear assault or even a conventional military attack on the US would likely fail, or at the very least result in MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction). But what if the Chinese had the idea to attack fault lines by tunneling underground, undetected, into another countries, setting conventional and/or nuclear explosives into place at certain points on fault lines? Seismic equipment has evolved to the point of being able to analyze faults and determine exactly where to place such explosives.

Say they wanted to test such a theory? Why not start with a local neighbor, such as Japan. The Japanese are no slouches at civil engineering either, and their tsunami walls were designed to withstand any conceivable siesmic threat. The earthquake that hit them was so fierce that it produced waves several feet higher than any tsunami the Japanese scientists could even concieve. Something like that reeks of scientific calculation to me.

Now, there have been rumors of Chinese troops in Mexico for years, in two particular places: south of Laredo, Texas and in Baja California. Now Mexico still has plenty of socialist elements, as well as drug cartels, so the idea that the Mexican government would allow something like this to exist in their country is not unheard of.

Now if the Chinese were to tunnel north of these two places, they would wind up on two very dangerous fault lines: the San Andreas fault line in California, and the New Madrid fault line in the central US. Explosive detonations and critical points on these lines would wreak havoc in the United States, but more importantly would devastate nuclear missile silos in these areas, rendering the missiles unlaunchable.

If such a plan were put into place before the US knew of it, They would have us by the balls. US government authorities and military leaders would be split about what to do. Some would say initiate world war and let the best country win, but others within our government would think the best idea would be to do the Chinese bidding, allow them into our country to do whatever they want. This would explain the railroad tracks and empty interment camps that either already exist or are under construction, all of which are under the control of FEMA. Martial law would surely be declared and anyone who resisted would be placed there.

Anyone with a brain can tell that US media appears to already be censored and nonsensical wars are being waged in the Middle East, and that points to one thing: distraction. Further extrapolation of that idea means that at least part of our government is involved and is going along with the master plan.

Hopefully I'm just another conspiracy theory nut and all of what I've said here is crap.

But may God help us all if I am even partially correct.

Coincidence

We've been at this hotel since March 23rd. During the first few weeks of turmoil here, while trying to fill some of Nicolle's medication, directory assistance routed my call to what they determined to be the closest CVS pharmacy, which turned out to be nowhere near me. The address was 10666 E. Northwest Highway, Dallas TX, which is nowhere near me. Turns out the nearest CVS to me is at 10003 Marsh Ln, Dallas TX.

10666
10003

The number of the beast and the number of the Trinity.

By the way the number to this hotel, which I did not know until at least a week after we moved here, just happens to be 214-904-9666.

What an amazing coincidence.

I'm in rm 255.

Crazy. Or not.

I was walking to the Valero little while ago to get Nicolle peanut butter and bread, which the Shell near me did not have. I pray when I walk quite a bit these days, and during this walk I prayed for focus, and asked God to send me an angel. As I got close to the Valero a girl appeared out of the darkness, and as I passed her she said, "Do I know you?" I assured her she did not, but noted at the time that she looked like an old friend of mine. She explained that she was homeless, from Joplin, MO, and needed $8 to get a hotel room for herself and her kids. I agreed, and she walked with me up to the store.

After I got my items, I gave her the money told her she looked like someone I knew and she said, "What's her name?"

"Sherra", I replied.

"That's crazy!" she said. "My name is Shelby."

And as I left I could have sworn I heard someone in the distance yell, "GILLIGAN!"

Tsk. I look more like the Skipper than anything.

Relevance

CNN television all day has been talking about nothing more than a man named Weiner's weiner. In other apparently less important news, 5 more Americans died in Iraq, Japan confirmed that all 3 Fukushima Daiichi nuclear reactors melted down, and the US and Pakistan try to decide what to say after another US strike into Pakistan, as it will affect what China will do. Thank you, CNN, for focusing on what matters.

Get this one right, America. Everything depends on it.

God and Country

In case you hadn't noticed, we are a country in crisis. In these times we face threats not only external, but internal as well.

Ironically enough the Art of War teaches that if you take the time to get to know your enemy well enough, their strengths and weaknesses will be apparent. This observation is done so that you can attack your enemy when they are at their weakest point. Misdirection is also a valuable tool, because it causes confusion, thereby affecting your enemy's ability to respond in a timely fashion, giving you yet another advantage when attacking.

But what if you are not sure who the real enemy is? I would say this is the most dangerous scenario one could face when fighting a war.

I don't pretend to know exactly who is up to what, but I have a damn good idea. And I know which side I am on. I recommend a keen mind balanced with a good heart, yin and yang. I believe in what this country was and will be again. I refuse to let my descendants grow up in a world of darkness, authoritarianism, chaos or disharmony. I can't do much, but I can do my part. And I will lay down my life to do it. Will you?

It's time to choose.

Broken Soldier

Two nights ago, while I was out smoking a cigarette, a man in an SUV rolled by. He saw me, stopped, pointed at me and said, "You look familiar, are you a Marine?"

I walked over to him, and said "No, I am not a Marine, are you?"

We talked for a bit, he told me about being a Marine, being communications specialist in Kabul, and picking up something there the US government calls "agent yellow". He showed me the blisters on his fingers.

Now you can Wiki agent yellow and read all about it, but it is officially listed as a "fictional chemical weapon". It is also listed as being in the possession of the entities: "military, paramilitary, and terrorist organizations".

The man was disoriented, clearly tired, and hungry. I told him my wife and I have been having a hard time ourselves, but all I could offer him was a little food, some advil, a cigarette, and a place to sleep. He didn't trust me, or anyone, it appeared. It took forever to get him to trust me just that I only wanted to help him and not harm him. I told him about Homeward Bound, a local Dallas organization that helps soldiers returning home to readjust to society. He eventually let me go upstairs and retried a small piece of meat and a potato for him, and some Advil. He at first agreed to take me up on my offer to let him sleep in my room (he was clearly very, very tired), and got as far as my floor before saying he would be right back and disappearing.

He said his name was Kevin. I don't know who he was, but I do believe he was a broken soldier, and needed to eat and sleep. I did what I could for him. It was all he would accept before he disappeared for him. I will pray for him, and would ask you to do the same.

Maybe one day I will see him again. I hope he's okay. At this time I don't know.